How many gibbons does it take to make an experience?

Colin mentioned we were off on the "Gibbon Experience" and I suppose it'd be prudent to give a better explanation of what experiencing "the gibbon" means...

While this photograph could explain it all,

a more accurate description of the Gibbon Experience is 2 days of treehouse living in the Bokeo Jungle of Northern Laos, while ziplining, hiking and waterfall swimming. Oh, and you also eat the same gross poo cutlet (with sticky rice!) for every meal.

The food may have tasted like soggy armpits, but everything else was spectacular (with the possible exception of getting molested by leeches on day 2 and not seeing any gibbons).

Here are a few video clips of the ziplining.. It was pretty awesome. The first one is of Colin breaking the sound barrier, and the other two are from my not-so-sturdy hand-cam. Volume recommended.

More to come on Colin being Tarzan and Me Jane, but in the meantime please see some photographic back up of previous posts.

Individually Pocketed Cement Blocks- Wake up feeling like you slept on air-brushed steel plates!

An exceedingly pleasant open air evening in Chiang Rai. Apparatus (stage left) assisted in pleasantness.

Thai Massages: Apathetic Endings

We did get massages, but not THAT kind of massage, you pervert.

Greetings from Houay Xai, Laos! After a whirlwind few days in Thailand (it's hard to believe we're only on day 3...it seems like a week), we crossed the mighty Mekong River.

We made it across the river safely, and are resting up in a guest house where we're sleeping on a couple of slabs of concrete cleverly disguised as beds. They're comfortable in the same way that sandpaper underwear is comfortable.

A quick recap of the past few days:

- I made a quick trip to the Grand Palace in Bangkok yesterday morning, and the place quite literally knocked my socks off. That palace has more gold than Li'l Jon's grill (not sure if people are still making Li'l Jon jokes, but I thought I'd test the waters).

- We hopped a flight to Chiang Rai in the afternoon (narrowly making our flight due to the slowest taxi in history). Chiang Rai is the "Gateway to the Golden Triangle"...the Golden Triangle is where Laos, Thailand and Myanmar meet and is infamous for its poppy production. For those of you who saw American Gangster, this is where Denzel came to get his heroin straight from the source. Stuart and I failed to make any such connections...yet. It was nice to get out of Bangkok and into a quieter town where we weren't approached every twenty seconds by a street vendor trying to sell us something. There were definitely fewer farrang in this part of the country ("farrang" is Thai for "gringo").

We had an exceedingly pleasant time in Chiang Rai (picture of me in front of some sort of gold thingy in CR above), highlighted by dinner in an open market where we feasted on grilled squid, crab, friend chicken tendons, spring rolls and a few Leo beers. It was a warm night, a full moon shining down on us, and there was a stage set up where traditional Thai dances and a troubadour sang sad songs about lost love (that was our guess, at least). Stuart and I soaked it all in and talked about life, and it was good.

We then retired to a bar where Mr. Poole proceeded to fleece me in Connect Four, and my warm feelings toward him from our dinner at the market quickly turned cold.

After an interesting/cramped/sweaty bus ride through the countryside to the Thai-Laos border this afternoon (picture of Stuart looking awesome on the bus is below), we'll be heading into the jungle with the Gibbon Experience tomorrow morning, where we'll be ziplining through the jungle, hiking to waterfalls, and sleeping in tree houses for three days...life is so hard.

An update on the official "Perpetual Sweatiness Level" (sponsored by Old Spice), today was:

Spotty

Damp

Soggy

Soaked

Now we're off in search of dinner.

1 Kume, 2 Kups

Bullet Points:

- พี่ ผมชอบเพลงถ้าพรุ่งนี้ฉัน..... The Thai language is officially impossible. The only word Colin and I know how to say is Kup Kume Kup, which means thank you. We think.

- Bangkok wrap up: As intrepid travelers, Colin, our friend Tim, and I decided to visit ground zero of the political riots (The capital building) to view some riot police and breathe in some tear gas. However, 3 blocks from the capital building, we passed a Maui Thai Fighting arena, and since Colin and I had to settle our public opinion poll, we gave up on the coup viewing and went inside to watch skinny 18 year olds kick one another in the face really hard.

-Colin enjoying the fight, and likely visualizing our Maui Tahi bout (Jetlag really works!)

-A sad state of affairs is the fact that locals walk their Elephants through busy streets of Bangkok asking people for money to feed their Elephant, and probably themselves. It's quite cruel.

-In other news: As I'm sitting at the computer terminal typing (staring straight at the monitor), there is a crazy black toothed Australian man standing one foot to my right telling me (in a whisper) how he blew up a call center building last night by sending a text from a phone that he found on the street (which had the phone numbers of VERY important public figures.. So important in fact, that he can't tell me who). He's wearing a cowboy hat, a teal shirt and the phone was was a nokia. He's convinced that it's a conspiracy and that they're listening. Maybe that's why he's whispering..

- I really wish I was kidding.

-He is making me quite uneasy.

-I need to leave.

Family Man Face's Off in 60 Seconds with Conair product

I haven't seen Bangkok Dangerous-a Nick Cage joint- but if I had to plot guess, I would say it's 90% Nick Cage giving dangerously handsome looks to the adoring public, 9% weaving and bobbing through traffic as a terrified Tuk Tuk passenger (w/ automatic weapon), and the remaining 1% is Nick Cage needing a minute to think things over before acting upon a hunch.

Regardless, people are too nice in Bangkok to have a movie title slander its city like that.. I heard from a reliable source that the political riots are actually based on Nick Cage.

Since Colin and I are already the most popular people on the street markets, we've been targeted as persons who need a wardrobe update. To the street vendors, we are poorly dressed dollar signs, a designation we can't necessarily disagree with. Every third shop is an "armani" custom suit tailor. We will probably end up getting a custom suit for $50USD, however, Colin and I have been VERY stern with our wishes that the finished product not deviate from the below design and color:

Travel (and life) Tip #132- When writing on glossy items, ball point pens are of critical importance, unless you're a lover of all things smudgy. Also, we recommend writing on a flat surface; not your non-writing hand.

Ps. If you know Colin, you're aware he is incredibly modest, and won't unabashedly spread word on a great accomplishment, so I am going to do it for him- Yesterday at the pool, he did a text book pencil dive(!)

Bangkok Not So Dangerous

We arrived in Thailand today (I think it's Sunday, but it's hard to be certain) after about 24 hours of travel, and I can safely say that both Stu and I have that not-so-fresh feeling. We're fairly zombie-like right now, which may be apparent by the quality of this post.

We've been in country for about 4 hours now and have only been ripped off twice so far, so we're keeping up a pretty good pace. Also, I probably shouldn't have worn my t-shirt that has "Sucker" written across the front. The thing is, when you're getting ripped off, you know it's only for an extra dollar or so, and these people certainly seem like they need the money so I don't feel too bad about it.

All the big ticket tourist attractions are closed for the day, so we just took a tuk tuk ride through town (example of tuk tuk below...ours wasn't full of vegetables, unfortunately). It was a harrowing and exciting ride, but we made three stops: at a mildly impressive Buddha statue, at the tuk tuk owner's travel agency, and at his brother's clothing store. We're satisfied that this gentleman lived up to his end of the bargain and gave us the best tour of Bangkok he could...40 Baht (about $1.10) well spent, if you ask me.


Initial observations:
- it's HOT here
- there are far more 7-11s here than there are in the US
- we get approached every 20 seconds by somebody trying to sell us something. Apparently we're not blending in with the locals as well as I thought we would.
- knowing how to speak one word of Thai would be useful, but we're not there yet
- it's pretty hot

Our "hotel" has a pool, so we're going to spend the rest of the day doing cannonballs.

We're off like the bug spray

Our parting words as we gear up for a 20 hour flight:

"Given the anemic amenities of U.S. air carriers, we're not altogether unexcited for plane food, and those hot towels"

Pre-Trip Jitters

Our bags are packed, the arrangements have been made, and the econo-packs of underpants have been purchased. It looks like we're about ready to shove off into the great unknown that is Thailand.

I have some different feelings going into this trip. Mostly, I'm incredibly psyched to be getting away for two weeks and exploring a new part of the world. I was in Walgreen's today buying bug repellent, and looked at the guy next to me and snidely thought "I bet he's not buying bug repellent for the jungles of Laos" (Note: I'll feel like SUCH a jerk if I see that guy in the jungles of Laos).

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous...I've been lucky enough to do a decent amount of traveling in my day, but I've always pretty much gone to places where the people look more or less like me (except for the Greeks...I don't look anything like the Greeks). There's also been some political turmoil in Bangkok these days, so we packed our riot gear. Sure they'll charge us $25 to check the extra bag, but I've learned from experience that you shouldn't join a Thai protest without your gas mask. Despite the vast cultural differences and impending violent coup, I hear that the Thai love karaoke, so I think we'll get along just fine.

Stu and I had our art department put together a lifelike mock-up photo of what we think our trip will realistically look like. It's important to note that our art department really sucks.

Next stop: Bangkok

Here's hoping we're not sitting near any babies on the 14 hour flight!