1 Kume, 2 Kups

Bullet Points:

- พี่ ผมชอบเพลงถ้าพรุ่งนี้ฉัน..... The Thai language is officially impossible. The only word Colin and I know how to say is Kup Kume Kup, which means thank you. We think.

- Bangkok wrap up: As intrepid travelers, Colin, our friend Tim, and I decided to visit ground zero of the political riots (The capital building) to view some riot police and breathe in some tear gas. However, 3 blocks from the capital building, we passed a Maui Thai Fighting arena, and since Colin and I had to settle our public opinion poll, we gave up on the coup viewing and went inside to watch skinny 18 year olds kick one another in the face really hard.

-Colin enjoying the fight, and likely visualizing our Maui Tahi bout (Jetlag really works!)

-A sad state of affairs is the fact that locals walk their Elephants through busy streets of Bangkok asking people for money to feed their Elephant, and probably themselves. It's quite cruel.

-In other news: As I'm sitting at the computer terminal typing (staring straight at the monitor), there is a crazy black toothed Australian man standing one foot to my right telling me (in a whisper) how he blew up a call center building last night by sending a text from a phone that he found on the street (which had the phone numbers of VERY important public figures.. So important in fact, that he can't tell me who). He's wearing a cowboy hat, a teal shirt and the phone was was a nokia. He's convinced that it's a conspiracy and that they're listening. Maybe that's why he's whispering..

- I really wish I was kidding.

-He is making me quite uneasy.

-I need to leave.

Family Man Face's Off in 60 Seconds with Conair product

I haven't seen Bangkok Dangerous-a Nick Cage joint- but if I had to plot guess, I would say it's 90% Nick Cage giving dangerously handsome looks to the adoring public, 9% weaving and bobbing through traffic as a terrified Tuk Tuk passenger (w/ automatic weapon), and the remaining 1% is Nick Cage needing a minute to think things over before acting upon a hunch.

Regardless, people are too nice in Bangkok to have a movie title slander its city like that.. I heard from a reliable source that the political riots are actually based on Nick Cage.

Since Colin and I are already the most popular people on the street markets, we've been targeted as persons who need a wardrobe update. To the street vendors, we are poorly dressed dollar signs, a designation we can't necessarily disagree with. Every third shop is an "armani" custom suit tailor. We will probably end up getting a custom suit for $50USD, however, Colin and I have been VERY stern with our wishes that the finished product not deviate from the below design and color:

Travel (and life) Tip #132- When writing on glossy items, ball point pens are of critical importance, unless you're a lover of all things smudgy. Also, we recommend writing on a flat surface; not your non-writing hand.

Ps. If you know Colin, you're aware he is incredibly modest, and won't unabashedly spread word on a great accomplishment, so I am going to do it for him- Yesterday at the pool, he did a text book pencil dive(!)

Bangkok Not So Dangerous

We arrived in Thailand today (I think it's Sunday, but it's hard to be certain) after about 24 hours of travel, and I can safely say that both Stu and I have that not-so-fresh feeling. We're fairly zombie-like right now, which may be apparent by the quality of this post.

We've been in country for about 4 hours now and have only been ripped off twice so far, so we're keeping up a pretty good pace. Also, I probably shouldn't have worn my t-shirt that has "Sucker" written across the front. The thing is, when you're getting ripped off, you know it's only for an extra dollar or so, and these people certainly seem like they need the money so I don't feel too bad about it.

All the big ticket tourist attractions are closed for the day, so we just took a tuk tuk ride through town (example of tuk tuk below...ours wasn't full of vegetables, unfortunately). It was a harrowing and exciting ride, but we made three stops: at a mildly impressive Buddha statue, at the tuk tuk owner's travel agency, and at his brother's clothing store. We're satisfied that this gentleman lived up to his end of the bargain and gave us the best tour of Bangkok he could...40 Baht (about $1.10) well spent, if you ask me.


Initial observations:
- it's HOT here
- there are far more 7-11s here than there are in the US
- we get approached every 20 seconds by somebody trying to sell us something. Apparently we're not blending in with the locals as well as I thought we would.
- knowing how to speak one word of Thai would be useful, but we're not there yet
- it's pretty hot

Our "hotel" has a pool, so we're going to spend the rest of the day doing cannonballs.

We're off like the bug spray

Our parting words as we gear up for a 20 hour flight:

"Given the anemic amenities of U.S. air carriers, we're not altogether unexcited for plane food, and those hot towels"

Pre-Trip Jitters

Our bags are packed, the arrangements have been made, and the econo-packs of underpants have been purchased. It looks like we're about ready to shove off into the great unknown that is Thailand.

I have some different feelings going into this trip. Mostly, I'm incredibly psyched to be getting away for two weeks and exploring a new part of the world. I was in Walgreen's today buying bug repellent, and looked at the guy next to me and snidely thought "I bet he's not buying bug repellent for the jungles of Laos" (Note: I'll feel like SUCH a jerk if I see that guy in the jungles of Laos).

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous...I've been lucky enough to do a decent amount of traveling in my day, but I've always pretty much gone to places where the people look more or less like me (except for the Greeks...I don't look anything like the Greeks). There's also been some political turmoil in Bangkok these days, so we packed our riot gear. Sure they'll charge us $25 to check the extra bag, but I've learned from experience that you shouldn't join a Thai protest without your gas mask. Despite the vast cultural differences and impending violent coup, I hear that the Thai love karaoke, so I think we'll get along just fine.

Stu and I had our art department put together a lifelike mock-up photo of what we think our trip will realistically look like. It's important to note that our art department really sucks.

Next stop: Bangkok

Here's hoping we're not sitting near any babies on the 14 hour flight!

Preparatory Level: Mustard Brown

With less than two days before trip commencement, we'd like to provide a report on our physical and mental well being:

Our hero, C$, has exhausted his home of all Kleenex-type products. This isn't because he's creating a mummy costume for Halloween*, but rather because he's fending off cold-like symptoms. When asked how he was feeling while home from work on Wednesday, Colin added; "Not feeling great, but I'll be alright. The best part is all the construction they're doing outside my window".

There is further evidence that Colin's wisdom teeth are coming in and they're hurting somewhat, which is primarily supported by the fact that he can feel his wisdom teeth coming in and they, in his words, "don't feel great".

As for your other corresp., he's battling an unexpected 0.025 ounce foe. Stu moved into 561 Waller St. approximately one month ago, and the former resident of his room (for sake of keeping her identity confidential, we'll call her Allie Powéll) had one parting wish: "Don't let the long potted vine in my room die.. Seriously, I'll be really pissed".

(switching from third person) Who am I to play plant god and choose which one lives and dies?? So water it, I have. What I couldn't anticipate was the variety and quantity of insects living in the potted vine. I've experienced moths, mosquitoes, no see-ems & what sounded like a hummingbird.

I typically wake up with 2-3 fresh bug bites in the morning. Or I stay awake (obviously eyes wide open huddled in the corner of my bed with the sheets tucked up to my neck) listening for a buzz and then slapping my face/ear/head. A subordinate drawback is that I'm sitting at my desk right now thinking I'm getting bit by bugs. Don't tell Ms. Powéll, but her plant is being demoted to the storage room.

Other than that, our physical and mental states are great and we're at "excited to not work for two weeks level: Orange".

Fondly,

swp

*Yet.

Meticulous Analysis, Planning and Hair- The Rise of Thailand

By way of background, this is how our trip to Thailand surfaced:

Conversation in Spring 2008-

Colin: "I want to go to Thailand"
Stu: "I want to go to Thailand"

Conversation in Summer 2008-

Colin: "We should probably go to Thailand"
Stu: "I think you're right"

Conversation in Late Summer 2008 while on Expedia-

Stu: "Should I press buy?"
Colin: "The elephants aren't going to ride themselves"

And so, Colin and Stu are off to Thailand, Laos and Cambodia for two weeks, and they're blogging along the way. By our estimates, this is the first blog ever made.

Solemn promise:
Our postings won't be too long.

Some passed over names when choosing a blog title:

1) Colin & Stu Rollerblade the Unpaved Roads of Thailand
2) Thai Coup for the Twenty-somethings Soul
3) A blog that will leave you pregnant with emotion and thirsty for the right to choose.
4) We put the ail in Thailand
(Transitive verb: to give physical or emotional pain, discomfort)
5) How to Lose a Guide in 10 Days
6) When the economy hands you a turd sandwich, make abrupt exit to land of $10 piggyback rides up mountains!
7) Colin & Stu Cure the Thai Coup
8) Colin & Stu's blog: How the East Was Tied
9) Colin & Stu's blog: We're here for the Chiang Bang

Hero 1.

Hero 2.